I am in therapy. Full disclosure, I’m a pastor who struggles with anxiety and depression as well as other things, and I have come to the realization that I need professional help to endure a particularly hard season of life. Now, I’m not writing this to spark a debate on whether or not a Christian should see a therapist – while I appreciate the zeal of the ‘prayer solves everything’ crowd, I am firm believer that God has given knowledge of the human brain to educated professionals that when used in conjunction with prayer, can help the struggling saint move forward into mental and emotional healing. Rather I am writing this to address an issue I have with an aspect of therapy, namely the elevation of self as seen through the self-help movement.
The Problem with Self Help
Self-help is not a new trend rather it’s a tried-and-true method of professional therapy as well as the go to method of problem solving between friends who are helping each other through everything from a breakup to depression. You don’t have to look long at a bookstore to find shelf after shelf filled with the latest self-help book written by the current hot author who will tell you the power lies within you (pretty sure that’s the name of a Joel Osteen book). And it’s not just the published authors who are riding this cash-cow to the bank, Social media influencers are no different.
“The world would have you believe that you hold the power to help yourself. But here’s the thing: the world could not be more wrong.”
I’m willing to bet in less than 4 minutes of scrolling on Instagram or Twitter you will encounter a plethora of pithy self-help quotes followed by some annoying trending hashtag like #motivationmonday. Or worse yet, someone staring behind a camera in front of a Bentley telling you how you need to love yourself more, believe in yourself more, and trust in yourself more – followed by a link encouraging you to buy their fat loss gym program/skin care routine.
This is the wisdom of the world and in their wisdom the world would have you believe that you hold the power to help yourself. But here’s the thing: the world could not be more wrong. Friends hear me clearly: if you put your trust in self-help, you’re actually helpless. The apostle Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 3:5, “Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God.” While Paul was addressing ministerial credentials his thesis stands: our flesh, our own abilities are not sufficient to give us confidence in anything. Rather God, who is all sufficient is the source of our confidence and sufficiency. Jesus makes this clear in John 15:5 when he says: “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” This idea that we possess the tool necessary to help ourselves is simply not found anywhere in Scripture rather the idea Scripture continues to build upon is the insufficiency of self and the all sufficiency of Christ.
What Scripture Tells Us
But thats not at all what we hear six days a week (for many its seven as the self-help Gospel has made its way into many churches and pulpits). Unfortunately what we hear is quite the contray. The world says trust your gut and believe in yourself, yet Colossians 2:3 tells us wisdom is found not in ourselves but in Christ. The world says the key to overcoming your depression and fear is to follow your heart and chase after your passions, yet Jeremiah 17:9 tells us the heart is deceitful above all things. The world says you are a strong independent woman (well maybe that’s just Beyonce’) but they will tell you’re your strong enough to overcome and defeat what’s in front of you yet Paul makes it clear in Philippians 4:13 that its only by Christ and through Christ we can endure difficulty and hardships. Time and time again the world is at odds with Scripture not just in its actions but also in its wisdom and its assessment of man.
Aside from the practical reasons why self-help leaves us helpless, we need to be aware that it actually is direct rejection of what God calls us to do. See, self-help comes with a big ask, what I mean is it asks that you trust in yourself, a self that Scripture describes lacks true wisdom, possesses a deceitful heart and is short on strength… That alone seems stupid, but that’s not what I’m getting at. See, while God loves you, and while He says you have inherent worth and value, He doesn’t desire for you to place even one iota of trust in yourself, rather He calls all people to trust exclusively in Him. Proverbs 3:5-6 says: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Think about that, God is imploring us to trust in Him with 100% of our heart, not with some of our heart, not with most of our heart, not 80% trust in Him and 20% in ourselves, all our trust with all our heart. Friends, if we do that then what room does that leave for self-help which requires a massive amount of trust in self?
Benefits
We desperately need help and God knows it. Life is hard. People are cruel. Bad things happen. Bodies and brains don’t always work as they should. Trauma happens. Abuse happens. Triggers are real things that make it hard to function day to day for millions of people, and I say this from personal experience. See, I suffer with horrible PTSD from 12 years of active military service and time in combat, I suffer from trauma that comes from being molested from age 11-17 by a trusted authority figure, I suffer from abandonment issues that comes from a string of men walking out of my life, and I just recently – by God’s grace, have been able to stop approaching every new friendship with insecurity and a need for constant affirmation that typically drives the new friend away. So, I say again, we all desperately need help! But the solution to our struggles lies not in finding the power inside ourselves but rather in recognizing the power that lies outside of ourselves. We are not called to look into a mirror to find our help rather Psalm 121:1-2 tells us: “I lift up my eyes to the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
Friends, sometimes we find ourselves in particularly dark or difficult seasons of life, and in those seasons, we may need the aid of professionals to help us endure. We very well may need people who can help us understand why we’re suffering and then encourage us to look to Christ who is the source of our help. Please do not disparage those people or those who serve in that capacity, I am personally grateful for them. But we need to stop trying to fix ourselves, we need to stop telling people to trust in themselves, believe in themselves or encouraging them to taken control of their lives – this is not the first step to healing rather this is simply another step towards totally hopelessness. It may bring financial success, it may result in superficial happiness or an alleviation of difficulties, but self-help does not ultimately help the self rather it’s only when we stop trying to fix ourselves and bring our broken selves to the foot of the cross that we find complete healing, true purpose, and lasting identity.
Prayer: Father, thank you for being our helper and not leaving us in our hopeless state. Open our eyes to our insufficiency and Christ’s all-sufficiency. Would you strengthen us and comfort us in our need and may our hope for this dark season and every season be Christ and Christ alone, amen.
